I'm still here....

Just wanted to say I'm still here, reading your posts, words just fail me right now.  Every time I think I really should do a post, I start and then erase it all.  So when it comes down to it, all I've got right now is "I'm still here" :)  I'm a strong person. Daily, losing my grandfather doesn't effect me, but deep down inside I know our world has been shaken, I mean he practically lived right down the street, it's not like I saw him twice a year or something.  So I guess the best I can say is that I feel conflicted.... fine, but not fine.  In the words of Taylor Swift "I might be ok but I'm not fine at all"  And when I think I'm fine, I remember putting together project boards for the viewing of the 50 plus cards that he received while he was in the hospital all saying how they knew he would get better and get through this so that people would know their words were heard and appreciated.  Well he didn't get better and he didn't get through it...... so..... crap!  Not fine! lol  But I'm still here!  So keep posting and I'll keep reading, and I'm sure when the numbness goes away I'll have other things to say!