Saturday, May 17, 2014


Oh my goodness, apparently our yard, or at least the garden areas of our yard must have really good soil because it is CRAWLING in worms and pill bugs and little things that.... crawl!

Mind you I am not afraid of a worm here, a pill bug there, a little spider etc..... but I admit I'm a little creeped out.  I was trying to replant a plant that I had put in the box on our porch just hoping it would survive until I found it a more permanent place.  At first it looked like it wouldn't make it and then last week it starting growing new green leaves.  So I decided today wouldn't be a bad day to try to permanently situate it so that I could plant the marigolds we got for mothers day in the box.

There are bugs everywhere.... bugs under the box, bugs in the garden, ants under the door mat that doesn't belong in the middle of our sidewalk that I discovered upon trying to move it back to the porch.


Wednesday, May 7, 2014

This morning...

I think that my son is watching Blues Clues and eating his pancakes....

Well, Blues Clues is still on, pancakes have been finished apparently.... but my 2 year old comes in to the computer room with no clothes on to inform me he would like to take a bath :)

So here we are, 8:41 A.M and Oliver is bathed upon demand and dressed for the day while mommy has had to reheat her tea twice and looks like.... well let's just say NOT ready for the day!

Oh and baby is giving me random bursts of energy in which I think to clean things I don't usually.... this morning's was to actually clean the toilets but guess who can't remember where she stashed the toilet bowl brush so that said two year old would stop using it as a broom???  That's right, me :)

Oh yes.... it's the little things in life.... isn't it grand??

P.S  Happy first anniversary Lyndsay <3 I meant to actually say something then but sometimes have the memory of... oh look a bunny ;)

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Blast from the past

I've been digging through my own pile of things lately, except digitally. I'm updating my resume and *attempting* to cut a demo reel together (video resume of projects I worked on) but it's disappointing work right now because I really only have ONE decent project worth showing due to the production company forbidding us from using ANY of their footage on our personal demo reels. I kind of get it, they didn't want me claiming I did work that wasn't mine, but on the other hand that was more than a year's worth of work and I don't have anything to show for it besides what was on my computer.

Anyway, among the files found were lots of old Word documents from my various writing sessions in the middle of the night (not kidding, the date on this one was 2008 at 2am!) which I will e-mail you guys once I've updated the file types (they are that old!). But here is one that I found pretty meaningful considering everything that's been going on with us the last couple of years.

"Have you ever had part of your life be perfect, just for a moment? Everything is falling into place, doing well in school or at work, you’re at a high point in your relationship with your boyfriend or spouse, and even your friends are happy too. But as soon as you take a step back to enjoy it, everything changes. If old problems aren’t popping up, new ones are coming in strong. A new semester starts, a new person at work who you don’t see eye to eye with, you start fighting with your boyfriend because you don’t know what else to do, or you even notice that something is bothering your friends. Somehow, when your friends are dealing with the same things you are, it seems much worse.

"You want to take the weight off their shoulders and carry it for them so they don’t have to be so upset. You want to make everything better so they won’t cry anymore and you can’t understand the people who made them cry. Even though you try to comfort them, you still feel helpless because you haven’t been able to resolve your own issues, so where do you get off giving them advice when you’re in the exact same boat? Even if you’ve resolved something one way, it might not be the right course for them, they have a different path that they need to find themselves. As much as it hurts us to see our friends, sometimes our very best friends, stumbling blindly along, we have to remember that someone did the same thing for us when we were trying to find our way.

"The nature of true friendship isn’t someone who points us down the right path, it’s someone who is walking alongside us making the same mistakes. The nature of a true friend is supportive and uplifting, you help each other, you’re there for support when they need it, they’re there for support when you need it, it’s a two-way street. A true friend is someone who loves you for you who are, someone who lets you vent and cry with a free shoulder to lean on, someone who’s happy when you’re happy and sad when you’re sad, someone who will talk to you openly and honestly especially when you need it. A true friend is not someone that runs away at the first sign of trouble, a true friend is the one who stands by your side when you go to climb that mountain and says, 'Let’s do this!' instead of 'Good luck.'

"Some people don’t know they need help and some don’t want to admit it. We do what we can for them, but ultimately we need to wait for them to come around, and they will in their own time. The hardest thing to do for a friend is nothing, but sometimes, that’s all we can do. Sometimes all we can do is sit back and be there for them when we can’t follow them down a certain road. All we can do is to help them up when they fall, only to watch them fall again a little later. Can we rescue them from their misery? Do they want to be rescued? Do they know that they can ask for help? The hardest decisions are the ones we watch other people make.

"Sometimes, we just need to move on. If there’s too much tension in a relationship, sometimes it’s better to cut it and be done. As cold as that sounds, bad relationships, be they romantic or otherwise, need to be treated like band-aids: the quicker the removal, the quicker the sting. Don’t prolong the agony by trying to fix something that’s beyond repair or by tearing into each other and saying things that hurt or that you might regret later. Make it as quick and painless as possible and be done with it, don’t drag it out, that only leads to more hurt feelings. You may patch things up for a while, but how long until there’s something else you’re not happy with? Do you want to walk on eggshells the rest of your life by continuing the relationship this way? Would you be a happier person if they were no longer in your life? In some cases yes, in others no, it all depends on the situation. There’s still no clear line on who’s right and who’s wrong, there’s nobody who can tell you what the right choice is. You need to look inside yourself and ask yourself some serious questions and you’re the only one who can answer them. It’s going to suck. The right answer is usually the one that you feel worst about doing. The easy thing to do is apologize just to get the fight over with, but in the long-term that’s not a good foundation for a relationship. Open and honest communication is critical and if that’s not there then the relationship will fail sooner or later.

Don’t get caught in the thick of thin things.

If there’s a dick in your hand, you put it there."

Those last two sentences were not mine, they were from a professor we called "The King of Cliches". Basically they mean don't make big deals out of things that don't matter, and you have the power to change your situation (or you are responsible for yourself, other people aren't responsible for you).

Monday, March 3, 2014


This past week has been kind of tough.  Not one thing on it's own was really that hard, but all of it happening at once?

 I took 3 DLPTs last week and still have two more to go. I also had epicly bad PMS. I've got a whole carton of rocky road ice cream in the fridge at work which I've been eating at regular intervals. Ugh.
I hit a parked car in the parking lot, although fortunately the insurance process was smooth as butter, it still really freaked me out. How stupid can you get?

Since college I've had a storage unit filled with junk. Kind of sucking money from me all these years. It finally got closed down and the contents shipped to me. Yay!  Which meant loads of stress arranging drop off and pick up times for the trailer (huge enough to fill my side of the driveway. )  Most of my 'free time' this week has been spent either studying or unpacking/repacking boxes. I've already donated two boxes to good will, and I have two more I have to drive over there. I've also got over 4 boxes worth of crap that I am simply throwing out (What was I thinking?? Why did I save that stuff?).

 On Saturday I moved all the boxes of books upstairs to my bed room. We don't have bookshelves there yet, but that is the plan, eventually.
Later in the evening Amanda came over and we dyed fiber. It was lots of fun. We made mistakes, we learned a lot, and we can't wait for our next dye session. I'm afraid I might have felted/overcooked my fiber but it's still wet, so too early to tell. That's the most common mistake made during the dying process.

On Sunday my back hurt SO  MUCH from moving boxes. Every time I sat up or bent over it was epic pain. Aaron and I spent several hours cleaning the house because it really needed it -__-;;   This weekend wasn't very relaxing. Oh well! Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do (Although Aaron did make an awesome steak and mashed potatoes dinner. He even bought red wine to go with it. Glee!).

It's looking like this week is going to be stressful too. My workload just doubled AND I have to get some training done in my spare time ASAP.  Sigh.

Love the Navy!

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

To Celebrate Life

We're starting to hit the home stretch. In reality winter is coming to a close and spring is peaking around the corner. Georgia is super confused, 70 degrees one day only to swing back to the 50s the next, but basically, it's still cold and gray and we are feeling the bleh of winter. Whenever we start to feel too meh due to weather or too stressed due to life/work we try to take a step back and do something 'just for us'.

Aaron recently bought a couples book that we are reading through together and I so wish I knew the title or the author's name! (It's on his kindle. It's probably TMI anyway.)

On Sunday we spent *most* of the day just laying in bed reading, then we went to dinner, and went shopping. Sometimes we enjoy just wondering through the isle looking at things and not even buying anything, but this time around we had specific items in mind.

All we need now is some zen music. That can't be too hard to find, right?

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Life makes love look hard....

Can I just say that sometimes taking care of personal business is really hard?  Finding out who you are and how you handle personal situations in response to others, kind of like that stuff you "have to deal with" can make your heart race.  I've sent two "clear the air" emails in the last four days, and in the last week I've cleared the air in an area of my life that apparently needed clearing.  I think it's possible I may have had a mini quarter life crisis, with a crashing wave of the last seven years of an emotional storm washing over me all in the matter of days.  Jeanne, you'll get to be privy to the written version of that storm next time I see you because you will understand part of it that no one else will.... ok well you probably won't understand one part of that part, but you will understand the part I'm talking about when you see it!  It's like in that Taylor Swift song "Mine" where she says "life makes love look hard"  Well that's where I am.  Seems lyrics of songs can always step in for me when life seems to fail, they keep me holding on like I'm not alone, even though I know I'm obviously never alone.  Anyone else with me on this??

Friday, January 24, 2014

Christmas Tree

Dear friends,

how are you? I'm good. I'm lying in bed typing this, wearing my navy hoodie, hand knit socks, and snuggling up under the blankets. We are only heating the upstairs of our house , which means that it's like 58 downstairs or something crazy, no way I'm going down there! Just THINKING about washing dishes by hand makes me cold.

Aaron and I were sick for like 3 weeks (Aaron got sick a week before me, and then I got sick, it was a whole thing. ) This means that I have been canceling a lot of my social plans, my house was trashed (although game night last weekend so it's relatively clean now from that, ), and MY CHRISTMAS TREE IS STILL UP. We got so many lovely ornaments in the mail from Aaron's Grandmother, and they were all wrapped up so nicely, and they are all very dear, so I'm kind of afraid to put them away. I think I might put them away wrong or break them in the wrapping process. I'm not brave enough to do it myself, and I can't get sick husband to do any cleaning. (He was REALLY sick. ).

I've officially invited a bunch of people over to my house on monday for a 'knitting circle', so I REALLY hope I am able to put away all of the Christmas stuff before then. I'm inviting my two Georgia crafting BFFs, and they would understand, but I'm also inviting a whole bunch of other girls from work who I've never really hung out with before... SUPER NERVOUS. I'm turning into some kind of weird bipolar extroverted introvert. I mean, I own a SPINNING WHEEL for gods sake, I'm not exactly part of the 'friday night' scene... so why am I facing the possibility of having  SEVEN people at my house, whom I apparently invited of my own free will, thinking it was a good idea? What's going to happen when they all realize how boring I am?

A lot of the time it feels like *all* I do is work and sleep. And when *all* you do is work and sleep, even an introvert starts to crave human company. I need SOMETHING to look forward to to make life worth living, and I think it's human nature to want diversity. (Otherwise my husband and our little game night would be enough social activity for me. )

I'm not really interested in bars or other eating-out socializing, and the only other thing I really like to do is craft, so in a way it makes sense to want to craft together with other people. I've always wanted to be a member of a knitting group, but I've never really clicked with the ones I've tried.

There's a knitting group that meets here that I've never attended because they meet in restaurants, at 8PM which just isn't my thing,
And I tried the spinning group here once and swore off it. I'm a firm believer that you should be able to interact and connect with people who are different ages from you, but I just did NOT feel welcome or comfortable in that group at all. It was the first time I really understood the meaning of the phrase "generation gap", and it was not fun at all.

I'm hoping this will be better. For starters, I suggested we watch 'princess movies' as background/ice breaker activity while we craft (I'm not sure if this is true of everyone, but wearing a uniform every day can turn the most die-hard tomboy into a dress-obsessed princess fanatic. I've seen it happen.  )
I asked one girl to bring DVDs because I don't own any, but if technology works out and everyone is OK with it, I kinda want to stream Penelope from netflix. I LOVE that movie so much! And it's got just enough 'princess' without being too overboard for anyone who might be allergic to Disney, IMHO.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Vowels in a Bar fight

As a Military Linguist, I work and live in a very tight circle. I have trouble keeping in contact with my family and out-of-state friends, and ALL of my current 'friends' that I can hang out with in person work in the same field as me. This means that I'm pretty used to being able to make some random comment and having EVERYONE in the room nod knowingly. My jokes are pretty much all 'inside jokes'.  Every now and then - like today when I talked to my dad - I get jolted out of that little bubble, and it's like this weird complete shock to be reminded that not everyone in the world is on the same page with me.

It's cold out right now. "Should have been a Korean linguist" means "Wish I were stationed in hawaii"

It's totally safe to assume that if "Iraqi" is in anyway mentioned in a  homework or test question, the answer is either "Bombs"  or "No power, food, energy, water, government support, or security."

The question  "How can I tell if....."  Will always be met with the response "Context" followed by everyone else in the room smirking at you as if you were an idiot.

I hear about 3 nerdy grammar jokes a day, minimum.

Jokes about obscure middle-eastern countries are also common.

More than half of the people I work with either grew up on a farm, worked on a farm over the summer for free, wants to become a farmer after getting out, or both.
Is it a coincidence that farmers and military personnel are both very low percentages of the US population?

On a completely different note. I made these White Chocolate Cranberry Scones on Sunday. EXCEPT that I didn't have cranberries so I made them with just the white chocolate.

They are pretty good, but I realized after one bite that there are TOO many white chocolate chips. If I were to make them again I would at least halve them. However what I really want to do is substitute the fruit and chocolate for spinach and cheddar cheese. I think that would be EPICLY DELICIOUS!!

Monday, January 13, 2014


In the world of internet forums, there are lots of acronyms and abbreviations. The mommy forums are no different. SAHM = Stay At Home Mom and WOHM = Work Out of Home Mom. Growing up and all through high school and college, my one and only goal was to be a SAHM. I only went to college and got a degree (in something that I thought was fun and I'm not even using in my current job) in the event that I *might* have to work to help support my family. It never occurred to me that I would be the primary breadwinner at any point in time. Then life happened. I find myself now a WOHM while my husband stays home doing the "job" I always thought I would have. The more I think about it, the more I do things to advance myself in my job and take another step towards a career, the more I'm actually ok with it. I'm not resentful that Dan is home with the kids like I thought I would be, I mean, I was initially, but then on cranky days or tantrum days, I leave the house and speak with adults. Don't get me wrong, if we won the lottery or if Dan were offered a salary at his current job, I'd be staying home in a heartbeat. I guess I've more or less "made the most" of having to work. I've looked for the silver lining and found it, more than once.

Then I think about eventually being a SAHM. After working so long, could I really give it up? Maybe not completely. I'd be happy working part time. What about when the kids get older? Even though we're thinking about homeschooling, eventually they'll go off to college or trade school, what then? Do I just go back into the work force after taking all that time off? Do I look at doing something completely different than what I got my degree in? I don't have to decide any of these things now and that's good I guess, having time to think about it.

There's potentially another position opening up at work. Rumors that someone in a senior spot will be leaving, so if I applied for it, I'd still be a contractor on the same contract but have the word "senior" in my title (dunno about a pay raise). I was offered this exact spot almost a year ago actually (Jessica it would have been working with Brian back then LOL), but at the time I enjoyed the work I was currently doing more and I especially liked the people I was with. I couldn't see leaving people I knew I liked and work I knew I didn't hate for a job that sounded boring with people I didn't know. Since then, I've been working on being seen by management of my group at functions, doing a fabulous job, and getting work completed in a quick and efficient manner. My goal would be to get noticed and hired this way, but almost a year later I'm still doing exactly what I was doing before without even the promise or hint of something opening up in the department I'm in.There's been talk, a lot of "it sure would be nice if we hired you", but nothing concrete. I've been passive-aggressively doing things to be "seen" with very little to show for it. I still like where I am, I still like the people, I even like my desk location, but my perspective has changed.

I know sometimes these things can take time, but how long am I personally willing to wait? That leads me back to SAHM or WOHM, why bother working towards a long term job/career goal if I'm going to give it all up eventually anyway? If I got my dream job in the video department like I've been waiting for since 2009, could I then give it up to stay home with the kids? If staying home with the kids is my end-game, why does the work I'm doing matter? I should just take the job that pays the most so that we're closer to our long-term goal of putting Dan through night school for technical training so he can eventually be the breadwinner and then I can stay home.

Lyndsay, we need to win the lottery and open our own yarn store so I don't have to think about these things!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Time Warp

Yesterday was my first day of class, and I still don't know how I feel about that.
I've been REALLY looking forward to it, as a way to escape work and get back on days. I love that I actually get to DO things and have some sort of intellectual challenge every day, and I love walking outside and being able to see the sun. So those things are pluses.
I'm taking Standard MSA though, which is super hard! As a Dialect learner, Standard MSA might as well be a completely different language. I can barely understand a word the teacher says!  Plus Aaron is still working from 2 PM to 11 PM, so last night I stayed up until midnight to see him, and I have to be in class by 8:30  >.<  I'm too old for that shit.  I need to be better about getting enough sleep!

On a side note. It's literally freezing here. It doesn't feel like our heater can keep up!


Wednesday, January 1, 2014


I have a love-hate relationship with Japanese.

I have wanted to learn to speak Japanese for as long as I can remember. I was born in Japan, and while my parents moved back to the states long before I was old enough to remember anything from Japan, I have an entire baby album with pictures of me there. The album was bought in Japan and is full of Kanji, and all of the Japanese congraulataions cards that my mom got when I was born are in there, also covered with kanji.  I used to look through my album a lot as a kid, and from the moment I was old enough to understand that those funny looking characters represented a Language completely diferent from English, I was hooked.

Most of my favorite memories from highschool and college are about my pursuit of the Japanese Language. Memories that are happy are numerous - I became an Anime fan because of Japanese. I met a lot of awesome people. I went to the Cherry Blossom Festival in DC every year and that was FUN. I took and failed the DLPT and felt cool just for being able to take it. I even went on a nine day trip to Japan. I have amazing memories from that, but I also kick myself over all of the missed opprotunities. I was such a sheltered introvert then, I could enjoy myself so much more if I could go back now!

Many of my most bitter regrets are about Japanese. I was so focused on learning Japanese that I didn't really think about anything past that. That means that like most Americans who go to college, I never actually looked into actual JOBS I could get with my degree until towards the begining of my final Semester. While I am desperately in love with Japanese, studying it taught me that just because you love something doesn't mean you will be good at it. I struggled with C's through most of my Japanese classes, and eventually failed one, Although that had more to do with my poor health at the time than my abilities as a student. Such a shame.

By now I'm sure you are wondering how any of this is related to pokemon. Your right, other than the fact that pokemon came from JAPAN, and all. Doesn't have much to do with most of the contents in this post. Just go with it.

My dad gave my lots of advice, most of which I either ignred, or else his advice would wildly contradict itself. He would tell me to always follow your interests and not let people dictate what you do based on 'success'.  He said if you were happy with something you should do it even if it made less money as a career than something else. But he also said I should study Arabic and work for the Government.

I took Arabic classes at AACC after I ran out of Japanese classes to take, and I considered my options when I went to College Park. After all, Arabic was a good career move, right? But I studied Japanese instead. Probably for the best, because I eventually joined the Navy and learned Arabic anyway.
three-four months into my military Arabic course, and I already had a more functional ability in Arabic than I ever did in Japanese. Kind of Depressing huh? What was even the point?

I can't be too bitter though. I met my husband studying Arabic.

The thing is, I STILL want to learn Japanese. After all these years. Over time I feel like I have changed a lot as a person, but this one thing hasn't changed. I can't put into words or rationalize my desire to learn this Language. I'm well past my fantasies of moving to Japan and living there, I'm not interested in being able to watch anime without subtitles on, (you don't really need the subtitles anyway. If you've seen one anime you've seen them all. )
I don't know what I would DO with a functioning knowledge of Japanese. But I want it.

My husband loves to play pokemon.  (Aha! She's getting to the point!)
Other people play minesweeper, or do sudoku or crosswords to pass time when they need a bit of busy work to occupy their hands. Not Aaron, he just plays his pokemon games over and over, And like me, he is fixated by the idea of learning Languages, so he has been getting me to teach him Japanese. It's hard because I don't really remember much of it, and he is so much better at Languages in general.... That I think he has pretty much already caught up with my current level of fluency.

So the new pokemon games that came out a few months ago....X and Y. They are the first (to my knowledge ) English copies of the game that come with the OPTION to switch Languages. So of course Aaron and I have been playing it in Japanese. It's so FRUSTRAITING to be so illiterate, but it turns out that playing it is actually helping me remember stuff I used to know! Because I know what the stuff is supposed to say in English, I can often use logic and context clues to figure out what words in the Japanese version mean. My favorite game is to read the name of a pokemon attack and then read the discription of it, how many of the words can you figure out once you KNOW which move it is? It's not hard to figure out which moves are Fly, DIG, or SURF, for example, and once you know what the move does it gives you a huge advantage in figuring out those illusive vocab words.

So whats the point?  I don't really have one. I guess sometimes I just seriously question the things I choose to waste my free time one. I mean, I can play pokemon in English, so why do it AGAIN in another Language? There's no need.  But it's fun. Fun is good. I just don't know WHY it's fun, and that is the part that is driving me crazy!