Monday, January 13, 2014


In the world of internet forums, there are lots of acronyms and abbreviations. The mommy forums are no different. SAHM = Stay At Home Mom and WOHM = Work Out of Home Mom. Growing up and all through high school and college, my one and only goal was to be a SAHM. I only went to college and got a degree (in something that I thought was fun and I'm not even using in my current job) in the event that I *might* have to work to help support my family. It never occurred to me that I would be the primary breadwinner at any point in time. Then life happened. I find myself now a WOHM while my husband stays home doing the "job" I always thought I would have. The more I think about it, the more I do things to advance myself in my job and take another step towards a career, the more I'm actually ok with it. I'm not resentful that Dan is home with the kids like I thought I would be, I mean, I was initially, but then on cranky days or tantrum days, I leave the house and speak with adults. Don't get me wrong, if we won the lottery or if Dan were offered a salary at his current job, I'd be staying home in a heartbeat. I guess I've more or less "made the most" of having to work. I've looked for the silver lining and found it, more than once.

Then I think about eventually being a SAHM. After working so long, could I really give it up? Maybe not completely. I'd be happy working part time. What about when the kids get older? Even though we're thinking about homeschooling, eventually they'll go off to college or trade school, what then? Do I just go back into the work force after taking all that time off? Do I look at doing something completely different than what I got my degree in? I don't have to decide any of these things now and that's good I guess, having time to think about it.

There's potentially another position opening up at work. Rumors that someone in a senior spot will be leaving, so if I applied for it, I'd still be a contractor on the same contract but have the word "senior" in my title (dunno about a pay raise). I was offered this exact spot almost a year ago actually (Jessica it would have been working with Brian back then LOL), but at the time I enjoyed the work I was currently doing more and I especially liked the people I was with. I couldn't see leaving people I knew I liked and work I knew I didn't hate for a job that sounded boring with people I didn't know. Since then, I've been working on being seen by management of my group at functions, doing a fabulous job, and getting work completed in a quick and efficient manner. My goal would be to get noticed and hired this way, but almost a year later I'm still doing exactly what I was doing before without even the promise or hint of something opening up in the department I'm in.There's been talk, a lot of "it sure would be nice if we hired you", but nothing concrete. I've been passive-aggressively doing things to be "seen" with very little to show for it. I still like where I am, I still like the people, I even like my desk location, but my perspective has changed.

I know sometimes these things can take time, but how long am I personally willing to wait? That leads me back to SAHM or WOHM, why bother working towards a long term job/career goal if I'm going to give it all up eventually anyway? If I got my dream job in the video department like I've been waiting for since 2009, could I then give it up to stay home with the kids? If staying home with the kids is my end-game, why does the work I'm doing matter? I should just take the job that pays the most so that we're closer to our long-term goal of putting Dan through night school for technical training so he can eventually be the breadwinner and then I can stay home.

Lyndsay, we need to win the lottery and open our own yarn store so I don't have to think about these things!


  1. I know! I feel like I'm failing on my end because I haven't bought a ticket in forever :)

    I was actually having similar SHAM or WOHM thoughts today! A lot of people in the air force are being involuntarily separated early and even though it's not happening in the navy, I did have a lot of "what if" thoughts floating through my head.

    Hands down I would LOVE to quit work. But the paycheck is pretty hard to say no to.
    I don't think I'd get bored being a stay at home mom. I'd have loads of time to work on my hobbies, hang out with other like-minded adults, and take small business classes to open a yarn store. I'm all about being my own boss and never having someone else in charge of me again. Winning the Lottery sounds like a solid life plan :)

  2. I have things to say about this post and I keep meaning to bring it up in person or comment on here, but I always get side tracked.... but I just wanted to say I haven't forgotten it and it's on the priority list to respond to :)